Guest Post by James Eric Richey, author of Two Hearts, a romantic thriller.

A little background information:

          I thank Laura Fabiani of iRead book tours for sending both my questions to the author and receiving his excellently written response. I had given two choices as Guest Post topics but to my great pleasant surprise, both the questions were answered. My sincere thanks to both Laura and the author James Eric Richey.

1.  An event (incident) in the author’s life that changed his perspective on love.

Answer:

When you date a person, you learn about their likes, their dislikes, the things that make them happy, and the things that make them angry. As you date this person and learn these things, you also learn about yourself and what you like and don’t like. 

You date and date until you find the right person that likes and dislikes the same things, or almost all the same things, as you do.  In the process of dating and discovering the right person, you fall in love. 

You fall in love with the person for who they are and what they are, and you also fall in love with that person for how they help you become who and what you are.  They lift you up and at the same time you lift them up. 

I dated a lot when I was younger, looking for the right person.  I had a preconceived idea of how marriage was supposed to be.  You date, fall in love, and get married, and then you live happily ever after.  That is how I thought it was supposed to be. 

There are three incidents that have occurred in my life that have helped shape my perspective on love.  First, please let me clarify, I’m not an expert on love.  I am still discovering for myself the meaning of true love.  I know that the more I work at it, the more I realize that there is so much more to learn. 

The first incident in my life that changed my perspective on love was getting married. Married life was bliss, but then life’s challenges set in, which causes stress, frustration, and discouragement.  We live in such a disposable society that when the smallest problems occur in life it is so easy to just throw it all away and start over fresh.  But, marriage is a wonderful thing—sharing your life with someone you love is deep, fulfilling, and eternal. 

That is what I learned when I got married, that together we could face any challenge that came our way.  Whether it be problems at school, with finances, career challenges, or health problems, I knew that if we worked together we could survive and conquer in the end.  My perspective on love changed and deepened as we grew together facing everyday challenges that came our way. 

The other two events or incidents that changed my perspective on love were the birth of my two lovely daughters.  Love for my wife grew stronger and stronger each and every day we spent together.  I thought I knew what love was after I got married to my wife and as we struggled and worked together through life’s challenges.  Could it be possible to love her even more?  Yes, a resounding yes.  My love grew and grew as each one of our daughters were born.  The lives of our daughters, their joining our family, has brought a richness to our lives that is indescribable.  That is why I expressed earlier that I am still learning what love is.  My love for my wife and two daughters grows stronger and deeper everyday as we face together life’s challenges.

2.  What is the success recipe for young love?

Answer:

I was once told that the secret to a happy successful marriage was, “A cookie and a kiss.”  A success recipe hints at the idea that there are certain ingredients that if added together will create a master piece. 

Unfortunately, a successful marriage is not that cut and dry.  However, there are a few things that can really help.  One thing is to overlook the little things that don’t matter that much.  Focus on the big things, and always remember to forgive and forget. 

Another thing is to always communicate with each other.  Open communication helps people to not assume the wrong things, which often causes misunderstandings.  Trust is also very important.  It is a must have in a successful relationship. 

Too often divorce is the answer for every little problem that arises.  Instead, if everyone would work together, with the goal of staying together, the little problems would disappear, and the big problems would be worked out together.